Why do we hide?

I sit here on my phone, and I see it right there on the screen. The friend with the secret. The one the world forgot. The one who hides because she is afraid of who will love her if they know her, truly.

And my heart breaks. This friend. This heart that hides thinking hiding is safety and safety is goal and aren’t we all the heart that hides? Don’t we all have our secret spaces of unspoken broken we push to the far corners of our lives because the fear of being known and unloved, that weight is too great and its so much easier to give half self, loved than it is to give full self, into the unknown.

And my own heart pings back. Silent response resonating, true. I too have too often believed that lie of unlovability, of shame. I too have too easily forgotten the way the heart beats free in vulnerability. How my friendships deepen when I share the deep. How there’s more to the daily than the daily and there’s more to our souls than what we did this weekend and there’s more life experienced when more life is shared.

And being unknown and alone, that’s really a lie by itself. That original lie that told us God would never understand our hearts and wouldn’t see us if we hid and wouldn’t love us when He found us, running.

Because He does. Though we run a thousand times and try to hide away ten thousand more, He is always eager for our return. There is not one thing we can do that will make Him change the way He feels about us. We cannot escape His longing for us to know our belonging. And He is not in the business of giving up. 

And I breathe. Try to remember that being known by a Good God means I can never out-pace His love. Try to remember there’s grace in the space where real-life self meets aspiring-self and that there is no bench mark to become valuable so I may as well stop hiding, too.

Our value has been there all along.

So friends, know that you’re known and already loved. And if you have a hard time seeing the God-love, gather your people and tell them that, too. It’s a beautiful gift to share your weakness with another. Don’t miss out on the hard, rewarding work of being known. You deserve to know you are fully loved, right where you are.